Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year

This is my first post since September. These last four months were filled with some very sad and painful events. My favorite cousin died suddenly of a heart attack, and three days later my best friend from my days at the Museum shot herself to death; the aftermath included spending most of my time helping her husband until he died of cancer on October 17. My kidney stones flared up again, I ruptured a disk in my neck, and I made the gut-wrenching decision to pass on a big job promotion. There is so much I could say about each of these events, but I've given most of them enough of my time and energy already. But, by far, the very worst of them, was losing my cousin. I'm so angry that she wasn't allowed a full life while my friend, who was blessed with so much, forfeited hers by putting a gun into her mouth.
Two days ago I built a fire in my chinima and I burned a lot of paperwork from 2011 and  told myself to let go of the sadness and anger-- burn it up and let it all turn to ash.

Later that evening, when I let the dogs out I heard a strange noise and looking up I saw a flock of snow geese fly directly overhead. They looked illuminated, brilliant white in a black sky.

I think I'm ready to face 2012.

Rest in peace my beloved Becky.

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